Montana’s a gorgeous place…even in SFF snippets!

This week’s snippet is from book four of the Clan Elves of the Bitterroot series, which I’m writing as we speak. :) It’s titled THE ELF GUARDIAN and is due out early next year.

Scenic drive along Idaho-12

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The quandary in the beginning of the story is that a defrocked but flashy paranormal investigator named Chiara DeLuna comes to the forest to investigate the Montana Vortex, hoping to make her name again. She arrives just as the elves are about to conduct their solstice ritual–  collision course ahead!

Having just returned from Glacier National Park (above, right) myself, I have to confess I’m as twitterpated about the place as Chiara.

The mountain before her rose with the majesty of poetry to a snow-capped peak far above her head. Another sat to the right, and another to its right, a perfectly sculptured range of mountains that looked like something out of a nature documentary. The breeze was ripe with the scent of pine and the wild flowers that seemed to carpet the ground below. Some sort of raptor flew far overhead, a pair of them, she noted a moment later. They cried out to each other, then executed a graceful drive to the ground somewhere on the far side of the hotel where she couldn’t see them any more.

Okay, so it wasn’t Manhattan. The mountains were of rock instead of steel. And the city never smelled like this–never.

            Re-energized, she went inside and called the desk to hire a driver to take her out to the vortex. If the hotel was this inspiring, the psychic energy might just be amazing after all.

Little friend at the Montana vortex…

For more information on the Clan Elves series, click the tab above or visit their website, Http://clanelvesofthebitterroot.com . For more snippets to make your Saturday wonderful, visit the SFFS site and read all the fantastic bits and pieces filling the creative airwaves today!

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Posted on July 13, 2012, in book, fantasy, writing and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 13 Comments.

  1. I can picture it perfectly. It sounds just like my backyard – except without all the majestic snow-capped mountains, wild-flowers and such. I don’t have raptors flying overhead either, but we do get many squawking ravens.

    Right. Now I’m going to do something I almost never do as part of SFFSat. I’m going to critique your snippet (uh-oh!). I don’t mean to be a smarty-pants. I’m only pointing this out because I really, really (really!) like your snippet and your writing. It always has great energy and flow. But I saw three little things today, three words that I think weaken the descriptions. “‘Seemed’ to carpet…” “‘Some sort of’ raptor…” “…might ‘just’ be…”

    Here’s my (unsolicited/possibly unwelcome) edit:

    “The breeze was ripe with the scent of pine and the wild flowers that carpeted the ground below. A raptor flew far overhead, a pair of them, she noted a moment later.”

    “Re-energized, she went inside and called the desk to hire a driver to take her out to the vortex. If the hotel was this inspiring, the psychic energy might be amazing after all.”

    I do the same thing when I write. Using words and phrases like “seemed” and “some sort of” helps illustrate the thought process of the character as she’s taking in the scene around her. I get it. I do it. But I think it weakens the prose, and creates a distance from the scene for the reader.

    Okay, now I’m going to run and hide.

  2. Oh, no! My comment evaporated! Or maybe it was deleted (uh, oh!). I liked your snippet! I really did!

  3. Loving the descriptions!

  4. I love the descriptions! It brings back memories of the times I drove through Montana. Beautiful landscapes up there!

  5. What a great description!

  6. I enjoyed her taking in the scenery. It’s a great way to set the scene and give the reader a great look. And the pictures are beautiful. You’re right–the perfect match for this snippet!

  7. Lovely! Now I am homesick for Kalispell!

  8. All my comments got et.

  9. I find that country so beautiful…but snow from September thru June? Not so much. 🙂 Thanks for coming by!

  10. I found your comments, Cary, and added them back in…thanks for the commentary. Like I said, this is a draft, and normally I will trim that sort of thing. But I like your suggestions very much. Thanks for taking the time to post those observations. 🙂

  11. Sounds like home to me. Nice description.

  12. What beautiful imagery! I want to go there!!

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